Anyone interested is advised to review the new rules for marriage between a Saudi woman and non-Saudi man to make sure they qualify for permission. Contact me by email for further details: taraummomar at hotmail dot com. Please feel free to share this with others. Thank you and best wishes!
I believe no one will know what I’m looking for in a husband better than me. So, I’m posting this with the help and encouragement of my friend Tara Umm Omar.
Marital status: divorced
Children: none (would like children insha’Allah)
Education: Master’s Degree
I’m a well-educated Saudi girl, open-minded, optimistic and a happy person. I’m adventurous by nature and I like a simple life. Alhamdulillah I’m someone who enjoys life to the fullest, within Islamic limits, of course. I respect my religion, alhamdulillah, and do my best to be a good Muslimah. Actually, I did turn down many offers because I’m not looking to get married just for the sake of being married. If I don’t find a good match, I prefer to stay single. For me, marriage is an interesting journey that ends up in paradise insha’Allah. My main concern is that the one who I get married to is someone compatible with me, mature, honest and a good Muslim with good manners. Most importantly, I’m not for polygamy.
Just for clarification:
I want to marry for the deen and not for culture. Please don’t get me wrong, I do respect and appreciate Saudi and Arab men in general. But I believe my mentality and the way I see life and marriage doesn’t go well with them. There would be clashes and Allah knows best. Moreover, each person in this life has the right to look for what suits him best.
What I’m looking for:
I’d like to marry a Muslim man, preferably an American or Canadian who currently resides in Saudi Arabia. Someone who cares very much about Islam, prays his 5 prayers and maintains his life based on Qur’an and Sunnah. I want a mature honest man whom I can depend on after Allah Almighty. He is open-minded, respects women and knows how to deal with his wife. He has a sense of humor and knows how to enjoy life. Regarding his age, I am open to marrying someone younger than me as long as he is responsible, mature and a real man. But not older than 40 years (I can explain more later). Please no smokers.
I’m a real woman for a real man insha’Allah. A real man seeks a best friend and a partner, not a maid. He doesn’t need her to cook and clean after him because he is independent. Should something happen to his wife, he is able to do anything by himself because he is no mama’s boy. He doesn’t stop his woman from pursuing her dreams. He doesn’t set goals for her such as being only a housewife. He supports her in everything and is not afraid of her intellect, dignity, self-confidence and independence. He looks for an independent woman because he knows should anything happen to him, everything will be fine because his woman is able to deal with anything on her own. He is not afraid to ask her for her opinion, appreciates and listens to good discussions. He does not have an attitude that “I’m always right”, regardless of the subject. He is ready and able to consider every situation from many different angles and make a good decision. He is not shy to roll up his sleeves and wash the dishes, make dinner or do the vacuuming. He is not afraid or too lazy to do anything around the house that should be done not because he is “helping out” his wife but because he lives in the same house with his wife. He is smart enough to know how to communicate with his wife, to sense a problem before it happens and to kindly resolve any misunderstanding that happens for whatever reason. Also, he is aware of and cares about his wife’s intimate needs and does his best to keep her satisfied. He never says anything negative about his wife, not to his friends, family, neighbors or anyone. If he has any complaints, he explains to his wife in a kind way so she completely understands his viewpoint. If he is reasonable and his views are convincing then she is reasonable enough to accept and do her best to make amends.
A real woman does not need a man because she needs money, she has her own passion and makes her own money. She doesn’t need money, jewelry, expensive clothes, cars or make-up to feel that her man appreciates and values her. She needs a man and partner but most importantly, a best friend who will consider her opinion as important as his and who understands her dreams and fears. She is ready to do anything to make her man happy, be it making some popcorn for him at midnight or running with him 10 laps around the area. She respects him in every aspect and would never humiliate him when alone or in front of other people (especially the latter). She is aware that respect is the most important thing in their relationship. She knows she should show appreciation for his patience and understanding of the things he does to make her happy. She knows that the best way to reward his initiative and actions, etc., is by stating her appreciation loudly and clearly. Any time there is a misunderstanding, she kindly and patiently explains the problem, its cause and effect and suggests possible solutions.
Real men and real women know that a conflict is pointless when they don’t learn a lesson from it. Every time a conflict arises, they will realize their mistakes and make sure that they will not repeat the same mistake. They know that being angry for stupid, little things without valid reasons, poisons the relationship and so they avoid that at all cost. They know that, at the end of the day, no matter how hard or long it may be, they are to hug each other before falling asleep. When criticizing each other, they both know they should do it only in private, in the most kind and open way, making sure to gather the right arguments and presenting them clearly and eloquently. And absolutely not in the moment they meet first time after a long day at work, after some stressful event or long trip, etc.
They are aware that this life is short and they don’t know how long they will stay together as only Allah, subhanAllahu wa ta’ala, knows how many days each person has on this earth. So they appreciate every moment together, making them great moments and some time later, great memories.
No one is perfect and I’m not trying to idealize myself but, ahamdulillah, I’m confident that I can make a good wife and expect the same from my future partner insha’Allah.
Photo Credit: Yahoo! News