Pros And Cons Of Being Married To A Saudi Man Living In Saudi

PROS & CONS OF BEING MARRIED TO A SAUDI MAN LIVING IN SAUDI
By Desert Flower

Pros

1. More likely to learn the Arabic language.

2. Jump, skip or hop to Mecca and Medina whenever you want.

3. Hubby won’t mind if you choose not to work so that you can be a stay at home wife or mother.

4. Chance to travel and experience things you may never have.

5. Opportunities to better educate yourself in the religion of Islam. {if you are a Muslim that is}

6. Learn to appreciate a new culture and experience all it has to offer {I really like the hospitality of the Arab culture…this includes the food….that must be why most women get fat when they come here.

7. Sense of obligation and duty towards children {less likely to be a dead beat dad}

8. Dates…Saudi Arabia has some of the best dates and a wide variety to chose from.

9. Arabic coffee….. yum yum~! I can drink a whole thermos and am licking my lips just thinking about it.

10. Bigger apartments and houses {when I sent pictures of my apartment to my family in America they assumed we lived in a house}

11. More laid back lifestyle {Saudis don’t sweat the small stuff}

Cons

1. To many cultural differences

2. Living in Saudi {wink wink…unless you hooked yourself a Saudi that wants to live out side of the kingdom…and beware some Arabs get an itch to go back home to live at some point}

3. Having to explain that you didn’t mean to insult some one {Some English expressions are insulting to Arabs.}

4. Some Saudi men may mind if you choose to work.

5. Will complain when you ask to be taken some where. {the intensity of said bitching varies from man to man} The most common response is I am busy. Then I ask doing what? Um…well…you see I have a lot of stuff so do. I see …so like what kind of stuff. I am just busy stop asking.

6. A huge in-law family to keep happy and to try and communicate with. Let’s just say there are a lot of puppet shows and sign language that goes on.

7. May have no other choice then to live with said family.

8. Trying to find close intimate friends {being from different cultures and back grounds makes it hard to get close to Saudis, we simply think differently most of the time}

9. Accepting cultural norms that are not necessarily religious in nature. I am Muslim and wore the veil in America but upon coming here I was asked to wear the more “conservative” abaya from the head. So stupid me gets one that doesn’t close in the front so between balancing it on my head and keeping it closed {Saudi women make it look so effortless} and trying not to fall {am a klutz from birth} I mange to get it caught under the wheel of my carry on suit case and as I am trying to leave the plane it slowly falls off my head and down my shoulders exposing my hair and bare upper arms before I caught it. So the men on that plane got a bit of a peep show. Sorry boys I’m married

10. Going through a kind of culture shock in the beginning of the marriage…{marriage itself is hard enough with out throwing different languages and cultures in to the mix…believe me there will be tears and sobs and so many times when you have misunderstood each other.}

11. Dealing with a spoiled momma’s boy… {most Saudi men expect to be served and do little around the house. I know that men have a reputation for being messy but Saudi men take it to a new level by leaving tissue, garbage, food and everything else where ever they go. One friend described her husband eating seeds and spitting the shells out all over the house….can you say disrespectful. I even, as an experiment, stopped picking up my husband’s messes to see if he would. After a week there where nut shells every where and his garbage, papers and books every where else. I even found nut shells in one of my knick knacks.

12. For those who have children, being a single mom in a sense because some Saudi men don’t get involved in the day to day responsibilities of the up bringing of the children. Most discipline and care is expected to be done by the mother. {Ask a Saudi man to change a diaper or wipe a snotty nose and you get this look like…..how dare you don’t you know I am a man and am above such demeaning labors…then begins pounding on his chest to remind you he is the king of the jungle}

13. Kabsa {chicken, fish or lamb with rice} is the Saudi favorite and is served in some form for lunch. Some Saudis can’t live with out it and eat rice at least once a day and some eat it twice a day. Needless to say rice can get old fast for someone who’s only used to eating it now and then.

14. Constantly being compared to Saudi women and how they do things…in turn I say, with hands on my hips tapping my foot, if you think you can do any better then go right ahead.

*Mind you pros and cons vary depending on which modal of Saudi you marry.

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Tara Umm Omar

American married to a Saudi.

9 thoughts on “Pros And Cons Of Being Married To A Saudi Man Living In Saudi”

  1. >Abdullah,I can’t speak for others but for myself as a woman, the biggest complaint has been the loss of independence. In the US, I had been driving since I was 16 years old. When I first moved to Saudi Arabia, it was hard emotionally as I was dependent upon my husband to take me places and sometimes his schedule didn’t allow me to be where I wanted, when I wanted. It was frustrating because I’m the kind of person who likes to get things done and get them done on time. My husband and I don’t believe in hiring a personal driver and neither are we a fan of taxis. I use them only if there is a dire necessity. Two years on, I’ve adjusted better by being more at peace remaining in my home and only going out with my husband or a female companion. I also keep my dream car in mind as I wait for the day women will be allowed to drive insha’Allah.The other difficulty is combating loneliness. I have a good relationship with my in-laws but they are spread out all over the country so I rarely see them. It really helps to have friends and the internet. Its not a good idea to isolate oneself here, it can lead to depression. You have to make the effort to establish social contacts and seek out extracurricular activities. They may not be according to the standards American expats are used to in the US but you have to compromise, its better than nothing. I talk more about my adjustment in Saudi Arabia on the fourth part of my hijrah story here…http://islamicarticles.wordpress.com/2008/06/28/muhaajirah/

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  2. >Anonymous,Thanks for sharing the story. I posted it to this blog. Insha’Allah the woman in the article, Zainab, will get her children and remain in the Kingdom. Tara Umm Omar

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