American Wife Of A Saudi Wants To Know Her Rights

[Name withheld] is an American married to a Saudi. She has agreed to share her story because: “Insha’Allah, not only will this help me but anyone else who may be in a similar situation, I can’t imagine who 🙂 but there have been stranger things that have happened.” Her questions are at the end. Thanks, taraummomarsignature5

Here’s my situation, I’ll try to make a long story short. Before I start, this may sound as if I don’t trust my husband, I do with all my heart. However, life has taught me that you still have to cover yourself and make sure you have enough knowledge on whatever you decide to pursue. With that, here’s my story:

My family and I are residing in the USA. My husband has permanent residency in the US but is a Saudi National. He is currently there now, his business is there. We are currently in the process of getting the Saudi Iqama/citizenship for myself and our children through the help of a family member, who knows the right people to try and “expedite” the process.

What I’m about to say will sound like I don’t trust a single person but please understand due to the head games that someone played with me in the past and my paranoia of how blood is thicker than water. I’m sure you’re fully aware of how Arabs play their head games to get what they want.

I’m not saying that I won’t go to KSA with my husband and my children. My husband doesn’t want anything to do with this family member and vice versa but what I have learned is that no matter what animosity there is between them, they are still family. I have to protect myself and cover all my bases in case this family member starts to plot something and I get “sold out”.

The answer as to why I feel I’d be sold out? Basically, to get back at me. I’m sure you’re all too familiar with Arab mens’ pride. The family member and I had an ugly experience in which he fought me on everything and tried to do a lot to discredit me and ruin my name. Alhumdulillah, Allah(SWT) knew what he was up to and I was able to win every argument that he engaged me in. Needless to say, he wasn’t too “happy” about that. Unfortunately, I’m dealing with someone who is a pathological liar and a sociopath, someone who cannot be trusted. My husband knows all too well how to work with his mind to get what what we need. Oh, keep in mind that this family member is the oldest boy of his family. So, no matter how “bad” he is, we’re still dealing with the whole “I’m the oldest boy thing”; even though he hasn’t been to KSA in years and years and the 3rd oldest boy of his family is the one who handles most of the family affairs. So, even though they know how his personality is, the majority of the family abide by the “oldest boy” ruling.

To tell you the truth, all the head games that I see played to get what they want in this family makes my head spin.

The family member at this point, intends to stay in the US. He’s been here for over 20 years and is married with children. Oh by the way, are you wondering why this family member is helping us? There was a trade. I “excused” him of the evil he perpetrated against me in order for him to leave us alone and help us get into Saudi Arabia. All I can say is Hasbee’Allah wa na’ama wakeel.

I could go on and on, it sounds like a novel. I felt I needed to share this with you so that you understand how important it is that I know the rights of me and my children and the laws of Saudi Arabia if I’m to go live there. It’s to protect me. I need to be educated more than them so nothing can be “pulled over my eyes”.


1.What I would like to know is what resources that I can read to educate myself on what exactly are my rights in this whole process [moving to KSA and obtaining Saudi citizenship]? Something to tell me what to do if something happens to my husband or me, if I want to leave and take the children (they are American citizens and have American passports, husband has a green card) and anything else of pertinent information.

2.Should I choose to seek work in KSA (I’m a Dental Hygienist), of course with husband permission; he’s the one who brought it up in case anything were to happen to him and cant work, what process do I have to go through?

3. My oldest daughter wants to know if she can pursue Saudi citizenship on her own. Is this possible?

Photo Credit: Leithjb


Published by

Tara Umm Omar

American married to a Saudi.

7 thoughts on “American Wife Of A Saudi Wants To Know Her Rights”

  1. >Best thing to do is to get in touch with NSHR (National Society of Human Rights) in Saudi Arabia. Speak to a lawyer, a judge and clarify all ur doubts. I don't think you will find coded any of the answers u are searching for… as for working… it won't be a problem insha Allah. u can without any issues work in Saudi Arabia insha Allah. and yes make sure you DO clarify those things before u come


  2. >I hope you take into consideration your daughters's social status and what might happen to them in the future. I would be too scared to go live there given the present situation with your ex. That being said, I wish you luck and like the lady above said, make sure you prepare yourself well ahead of time.


  3. >It is always good to trust your instinct; when you don't feel something is right take a break and do more research. It is better to feel comfortable about the whole situation done to be stranded in SA.Good Luck


  4. >Jaazakum Allahu khair for all your wonderful advice. These are great starting blocks for my quest of knowledge. Alhumdulillah, with Ramadhan upon us and all the resposibillities that go along with it, I won't be as efficient as I usually can be in getting all my info, but will definitely be working on it. I'm sure as i read and investigate, i will have more questions and, Insha Allah, I hope all of you will be there to answer. I will keep in touch with my progress, no matter how tardy I may be and I hope all of you can forgive me for this.Ramadhan Mubarak to all wa am bil entum bil khair"Name Withheld"


  5. >BismillaahAssalaamu Alaikum!@Name withheldAre you aware that in Islam there is no child support after remarrying?Islamically, your ex does not have to pay child support starting from the time you re-married. I suggest you look into the Islamic rulings of your situation. In this way you can be sure you are living your life according to Islaamic legislation, inshaa Allaah.Try


  6. >SurvivorsAreUs- Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh. Welcome back to the blog and thank you for commenting. Insha'Allah the sister [name withheld] will acknowledge your statements soon.


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