Here’s my situation, I’ll try to make a long story short. Before I start, this may sound as if I don’t trust my husband, I do with all my heart. However, life has taught me that you still have to cover yourself and make sure you have enough knowledge on whatever you decide to pursue. With that, here’s my story:
My family and I are residing in the USA. My husband has permanent residency in the US but is a Saudi National. He is currently there now, his business is there. We are currently in the process of getting the Saudi Iqama/citizenship for myself and our children through the help of a family member, who knows the right people to try and “expedite” the process.
What I’m about to say will sound like I don’t trust a single person but please understand due to the head games that someone played with me in the past and my paranoia of how blood is thicker than water. I’m sure you’re fully aware of how Arabs play their head games to get what they want.
I’m not saying that I won’t go to KSA with my husband and my children. My husband doesn’t want anything to do with this family member and vice versa but what I have learned is that no matter what animosity there is between them, they are still family. I have to protect myself and cover all my bases in case this family member starts to plot something and I get “sold out”.
The answer as to why I feel I’d be sold out? Basically, to get back at me. I’m sure you’re all too familiar with Arab mens’ pride. The family member and I had an ugly experience in which he fought me on everything and tried to do a lot to discredit me and ruin my name. Alhumdulillah, Allah(SWT) knew what he was up to and I was able to win every argument that he engaged me in. Needless to say, he wasn’t too “happy” about that. Unfortunately, I’m dealing with someone who is a pathological liar and a sociopath, someone who cannot be trusted. My husband knows all too well how to work with his mind to get what what we need. Oh, keep in mind that this family member is the oldest boy of his family. So, no matter how “bad” he is, we’re still dealing with the whole “I’m the oldest boy thing”; even though he hasn’t been to KSA in years and years and the 3rd oldest boy of his family is the one who handles most of the family affairs. So, even though they know how his personality is, the majority of the family abide by the “oldest boy” ruling.
To tell you the truth, all the head games that I see played to get what they want in this family makes my head spin.
The family member at this point, intends to stay in the US. He’s been here for over 20 years and is married with children. Oh by the way, are you wondering why this family member is helping us? There was a trade. I “excused” him of the evil he perpetrated against me in order for him to leave us alone and help us get into Saudi Arabia. All I can say is Hasbee’Allah wa na’ama wakeel.
I could go on and on, it sounds like a novel. I felt I needed to share this with you so that you understand how important it is that I know the rights of me and my children and the laws of Saudi Arabia if I’m to go live there. It’s to protect me. I need to be educated more than them so nothing can be “pulled over my eyes”.
1.What I would like to know is what resources that I can read to educate myself on what exactly are my rights in this whole process [moving to KSA and obtaining Saudi citizenship]? Something to tell me what to do if something happens to my husband or me, if I want to leave and take the children (they are American citizens and have American passports, husband has a green card) and anything else of pertinent information.
2.Should I choose to seek work in KSA (I’m a Dental Hygienist), of course with husband permission; he’s the one who brought it up in case anything were to happen to him and cant work, what process do I have to go through?
3. My oldest daughter wants to know if she can pursue Saudi citizenship on her own. Is this possible?
Photo Credit: Leithjb