>A Relationship Lost, New Beliefs Gained: How A Saudi Man Positively Changed A Filipina

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Summer is a Filipina who “started to be interested in this blog when I had a relationship with a Saudi. Though our relationship didn’t last, I am happy to know a lot of things about the culture and the people.”

Summer met her Saudi in the Philippines. She wants her story to “focus on the good things that I had with this Saudi man. How he treated me, how he took care of me, how he found ways to make me happy…all of those. I believe that these are good feedback for Saudi Arabia and its people. I myself had hesitations before on having a relationship with a Saudi because of some misconceptions but I have proved them wrong. This man actually changed my beliefs.”

It is not often that we find a person like Summer, who instead of being embittered at the demise of her relationship with a Saudi, she derived something positive from it.

I asked her if they ever talked about marriage and the Saudi marriage permission process.”We did. Though we never discussed the nitty gritty of the process in that country. That’s the reason why I ended up on your blog. That’s where I come to realize the procedure and the requirements.Though I have the idea because of your blog, I never initiated the discussion regarding this. And I never grew impatient not hearing about it, because I thought time will come. One thing I have deliberated though, was the idea of converting to Muslim as well for the sake of love. Of course it should not be love for him alone, but also considering love for Allah and accepting the teachings of the Qur’an. Though I didnt mention this to him at that moment, because I want to know if he really accepted me and my son. It may sound like blackmailing but I guess I have my own conditions to set as well.”


Did she ever consider moving to KSA if they ever got married? “Yes, I would love to move to KSA. If that would be the only way for me to prove that I am serious about the relationship. Though I know somehow that I would have a problem with my kid. And I know I can’t just leave him here and be with my Saudi man.”

What were your Saudi’s reasons for terminating the relationship? “This one is tough. Though I guess I should say that we have our differences. He has different views on the way he sees things and same with me. What triggered it the relationship to part though was when he was not able to get online one night. We sort of have a schedule to talk and I waited for 6 hours. I sent him SMS and even called but he didn’t answer any of these. At the back of my mind, I just want to know that he was ok. Later that day, (around 3am Saudi time) he managed to send me an offline message as to why he wasnt able to make it. But being the girl that I am, I didn’t easily accept that. And we fought. Thats what caused him to leave.


What were the misconceptions he helped dispel about Saudi men? “I used to believe that Saudi men are donimating. That they would always want to have things their way. He is not this type. Whenever we would have discussions, he would persuade me to say what I think and believe in. He doesn’t like the idea of  ‘you do what I say’. Being the submissive person that I am, I was challenged. I don’t like arguments and debate thats why I give in even at my own expense. But he changed this. Like what used to say, ‘he will fix me’. I also thought that Saudis treat their woman like slaves. But for the 2 weeks that I have spent with him, I never felt that I was a slave. Suffice to say, I felt that I am the most important person in his life at that time. He treated me with outmost respect. And he made every effort there was to make me happy”
What are the positive things you learned about a Saudi man? “That they value their words and dignity so much.”

Now that you know the background of Summer and her Saudi man, below is a touching poem she dedicated to him called “My Man”…

I know a lot of you are eager to know a lot about the guy who has recently changed my life. I haven’t found the time to sit down and share the story since I have a lot of catching up to do at work and at home.

Dating back to 2006 was when I first met him. Not personally though. October 16, 2006 according to my diary. After consecutive days of talks over the phone and over the net, I felt he was someone special. Special in the sense that he has different perception in life and has a different approach when it comes to love. I admire his thoughts and I love what he made me feel at that time.

This inspired me to write this – Nov 1, 2006

MY MAN


it has been my fervent desire
to wake up each morning
and see your face beside me,
assuring me of your love and
your endless faith.


to close my eyes in the middle of the night
with your lips close to mine
that will seal the promise
of this new found love.


to walk the along the shore
with your hands with mine,
comforting my heart’s desire
that you are mine forever.


to hear your voice every now and then
and give me the courage to go on with life,
telling me that im all that u desire
and the one who will complete u.


to feel the warth of your embrace
when the night starts to get cold
reassuring me that im finally home
with the one ive waited for… my man.

My heart was vulnerable. And I guess throughout those days I felt that we could be more than just friends. Since I was in the state of wanting to feel loved, we tried to be more than what we were. But it didn’t last that long. He has his own reasons. At that time I might have not really understood his reasons but I didn’t have much of a choice but just to let it go.

Months had passed, years had gone. We managed to live our lives the way it should. But he never failed to keep in touch. We treated each other like good friends. He made a literary piece and video for me. He knows everything that happened to me. He was even there when I broke my heart again. He called me up and I remember bursting in tears. Never had I thought that he still feels something special for me.

Til this year.

I dont know if it’s God’s will. Or if its just the right time. We started talking again. Just like the old times. He planned to take a vacation here in the country. Being a friend, I felt glad that we would finally see each other for real. I would finally see the man that I fell in love with. And being with him, would prove what kind of friendship we can keep between us.

It would be hypocrite of me not to say that I never felt something special during those times. A voice was telling me that this guy was trying to be kind and sweet. I was even thinking if there would be a chance that he would like me the way he used to. But I shove the thoughts off. I don’t want to keep my hopes high and end up disappointing my self for wanting more than what is on the line.

But he has his own way… He planned the vacation with me. And before the planned had been finalized, he wrote this in his blog:

“WAS I ASLEEP? HAD I SLEPT?

Open your eyes…open your eyeeeees…I don’t know why those words stuck inside my busy mind since the last time I saw Tom Cruise’s movie…Vanilla Sky. Actually the movie was enigmatic but the voice of Penelope Cruz when she said those magical words “open your eyeeees” was really fascinating those words rings inside my busy mind higher than mosques Minarets and stronger than Churches bells…


I waited since the last time you said hello … I waited for you to strike my sense when I open the doors of my mind…maybe the recalcitrance’s inside my mind disobeys the ordinary life…or maybe your hello will be my life’s promising dance with you.


Sometimes I think you are just in my imagination… I am not fastidious…I am and hundred of times…I am complex simplicity.


Time is short and I am sure…There must be something more…Things will never be the same…There is no living life again.


You met me at a very strange time in my life.”

When I first read this, my heart was in awe. Any girl will be moved by his lines and his every word. And what I have in my mind then was, this girl must be very lucky to have him for a lover. Again, I shove the thought that it could be me.

Then one day, while having our usual conversation, we were talking about this piece. Thats when he told me that it was for me! I was like, “What?!!!” Thats when I realized how he planned for all these.

How can I let go of a man like him? How could I be clueless of his real intentions? How could I ignore his sincere effort to win me back? How could I not believe that he is here to stay in my heart for good? And how could I not love a man who has been doing the work to make me happy?

“From aircraft to aircraft,
from hotel to another hotel,
from an island to another island,
I love you.”

I remember him saying this to me and I was really touched. All throughout the vacation, he never failed to prove to me that he loves me. He shares his thoughts and his plans about us. These flatter me a lot. And I can’t just wait for all these to come true.

Photo Credit:
Banila Town Centre
Bing Bing
MVI
Randy Lemoine
Dbgg1979
Eustaquio Santimano
Small Islander

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Published by

Tara Umm Omar

American married to a Saudi.

4 thoughts on “>A Relationship Lost, New Beliefs Gained: How A Saudi Man Positively Changed A Filipina”

  1. >bismillahirrohmanirrohim…i think its better if she learn more first about islam and embrace it because she believes in Allah not because the guy. As woman who uses with open country, you may find some unsatisfaction to live in Saudi. But if you have good faith then you will thank Allah for letting you live in this islamic environment.I dont know about other saudi men, but my husband is taking care of me well, alhamdulillah more than i expected any other man would do (even men from my own country). I can not say that the guy will do the same to her as my husband to me for i have heard other kind of stories, women who are not as lucky as i am.So… its better for her to embrace islam first, do pray istikharah. Then God will show her if this guy is best for her or not. The way Allah showed me.

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  2. >Anonymous- Asalamu Alaikum, welcome to FHWS and thanks for commenting. Masha'Allah its great to read that you are one of the lucky ones. May Allah continue to bless you in your marriage. Please feel free to email me for details on how to submit your story (anonymously if you like). Insha'Allah Summer will reply to you soon.

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  3. >I appreciate the wisdom that you have shared. I am praying for the right time and yes I am praying that HE will let me know if he is the one for me. Tara, again my deepest thanks for sharing my story. I hope it has helped the others widen their horizon. Ü~Summer~

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