Mother Has Reservations About Daughter Marrying A Saudi; Just Wants Her To Be Happy

motherhoodGetterdunn91,

You have reservations regarding your daughter marrying a Saudi and they are spot on. First of all, in order to receive a government scholarship, Saudis have to sign a contract agreeing that they will not marry a non-Saudi while studying. Should the government find out, the consequence of defying that is lost of the scholarship and possibly having to pay it all back. Secondly, there is risk of losing the student visa and being deported from the United States. I would rather your daughter be married Islamically as soon as possible but the law is the law. Her Saudi must do it right from the beginning and that means obeying the Saudi law and not reneging on the contract he made with the government. Since he has been refused by a Prince, there is not much else that can be done. Maybe go to another Prince?

I want to call to your attention the fact that this Saudi has not told his father yet. Saudi families are notorious for not accepting marriages between Saudis and non-Saudis. The resistance that they put up to such an arrangement can make or break the relationship. It is common that they buckle under pressure and break off the marriage plans. Others will persevere and go through with the marriage no matter what their family says or does to them. I hope your daughter’s Saudi is the latter.

I’d hate to see your daughter hurt too. I say, go with your gut instincts. But more importantly, if she is Muslim, I recommend that she ask Allah for guidance in making the right decision through the istikhara prayer. Her Saudi should do the same.

taraummomarsignature4

Your name, nickname or anonymous: getterdunn91

Type or copy/paste your submission here: My 20 year old American daughter has fallen in love with a student from Saudi Arabia. He has finished his Master’s Degree in Special Education and plans to stay in the USA until completing his PhD (4 years). He has to leave our area but remain in the US, to attend a different college. Their plan was for her to remain behind and finish her 2 yr undergraduate courses.

Now they have decided to marry with a Muslim ceremony without getting permission from his Country. He is 26 years old and has already been turned down verbally at his Prince’s office, due to his age. He does not want to lose his scholarship, salary from his University in Saudi Arabia and he has yet to tell his father of his plans.

My husband refuses to sign any papers, ever. “I do not own her and she has the right to decide for herself.” But they will not marry under US law, where she can make her own decision.

Her fiance is pushing for either this move (secret Muslim marriage and moving 12 hours away) or just completely break off their relationship.

I hate to see her hurt, but after supporting him in his studies for 4 years, he may not even be able to legally marry her. If they have children before they get marriage permission, if they get permission and she can’t live the Saudi lifestyle…if, if, if….

Do you have any suggestions that would assist her in making a decision? We will support her in her decision. I know we can see into the future. All we want is her happiness.

Are you a Saudi woman married to a non-Saudi man: No

Are you a non-Saudi woman married to a Saudi man: No

Are you a Saudi man married to a non-Saudi woman: No

Are you a non-Saudi man married to a Saudi: No

Are you submitting a personal story or an interview: Personal story

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Published by

Tara Umm Omar

American married to a Saudi.

2 thoughts on “Mother Has Reservations About Daughter Marrying A Saudi; Just Wants Her To Be Happy”

  1. I am pleased that this mother is writing to you, someone who knows so much about mixed marriages in Saudi Arabia and the proper steps to take. You are helping a lot of men and women, Tara Umm Omar…

    Like

    1. I’m not an expert but I’m passionate about this subject which motivates me to keep FHWS going to help others.

      Like

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