Saudi Woman Wants To Marry A Non-Saudi

779ca28e624dd5036b0f6a7067006db6Anyone interested is advised to review the new rules for marriage between a Saudi woman and non-Saudi man to make sure they qualify for permission. Contact me by email for further details: taraummomar at hotmail dot com. Please feel free to share this with others. Thank you and best wishes!

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I believe no one will know what I’m looking for in a husband better than me. So, I’m posting this with the help and encouragement of my friend Tara Umm Omar.

Age: 38

Marital status: divorced

Children: none (would like children insha’Allah)

Education: Master’s Degree

About me:

I’m a well-educated Saudi girl, open-minded, optimistic and a happy person. I’m adventurous by nature and I like a simple life. Alhamdulillah I’m someone who enjoys life to the fullest, within Islamic limits, of course. I respect my religion, alhamdulillah, and do my best to be a good Muslimah. Actually, I did turn down many offers because I’m not looking to get married just for the sake of being married. If I don’t find a good match, I prefer to stay single. For me, marriage is an interesting journey that ends up in paradise insha’Allah. My main concern is that the one who I get married to is someone compatible with me, mature, honest and a good Muslim with good manners. Most importantly, I’m not for polygamy.

Just for clarification:

I want to marry for the deen and not for culture. Please don’t get me wrong, I do respect and appreciate Saudi and Arab men in general. But I believe my mentality and the way I see life and marriage doesn’t go well with them. There would be clashes and Allah knows best. Moreover, each person in this life has the right to look for what suits him best.

What I’m looking for:

I’d like to marry a Muslim man, preferably an American or Canadian who currently resides in Saudi Arabia. Someone who cares very much about Islam, prays his 5 prayers and maintains his life based on Qur’an and Sunnah. I want a mature honest man whom I can depend on after Allah Almighty. He is open-minded, respects women and knows how to deal with his wife. He has a sense of humor and knows how to enjoy life. Regarding his age, I am open to marrying someone younger than me as long as he is responsible, mature and a real man. But not older than 40 years (I can explain more later). Please no smokers.

My expectations:

I’m a real woman for a real man insha’Allah. A real man seeks a best friend and a partner, not a maid. He doesn’t need her to cook and clean after him because he is independent. Should something happen to his wife, he is able to do anything by himself because he is no mama’s boy. He doesn’t stop his woman from pursuing her dreams. He doesn’t set goals for her such as being only a housewife. He supports her in everything and is not afraid of her intellect, dignity, self-confidence and independence. He looks for an independent woman because he knows should anything happen to him, everything will be fine because his woman is able to deal with anything on her own. He is not afraid to ask her for her opinion, appreciates and listens to good discussions. He does not have an attitude that “I’m always right”, regardless of the subject. He is ready and able to consider every situation from many different angles and make a good decision. He is not shy to roll up his sleeves and wash the dishes, make dinner or do the vacuuming. He is not afraid or too lazy to do anything around the house that should be done not because he is “helping out” his wife but because he lives in the same house with his wife. He is smart enough to know how to communicate with his wife, to sense a problem before it happens and to kindly resolve any misunderstanding that happens for whatever reason. Also, he is aware of and cares about his wife’s intimate needs and does his best to keep her satisfied. He never says anything negative about his wife, not to his friends, family, neighbors or anyone. If he has any complaints, he explains to his wife in a kind way so she completely understands his viewpoint. If he is reasonable and his views are convincing then she is reasonable enough to accept and do her best to make amends.

A real woman does not need a man because she needs money, she has her own passion and makes her own money. She doesn’t need money, jewelry, expensive clothes, cars or make-up to feel that her man appreciates and values her. She needs a man and partner but most importantly, a best friend who will consider her opinion as important as his and who understands her dreams and fears. She is ready to do anything to make her man happy, be it making some popcorn for him at midnight or running with him 10 laps around the area. She respects him in every aspect and would never humiliate him when alone or in front of other people (especially the latter). She is aware that respect is the most important thing in their relationship. She knows she should show appreciation for his patience and understanding of the things he does to make her happy. She knows that the best way to reward his initiative and actions, etc., is by stating her appreciation loudly and clearly. Any time there is a misunderstanding, she kindly and patiently explains the problem, its cause and effect and suggests possible solutions.

Real men and real women know that a conflict is pointless when they don’t learn a lesson from it. Every time a conflict arises, they will realize their mistakes and make sure that they will not repeat the same mistake. They know that being angry for stupid, little things without valid reasons, poisons the relationship and so they avoid that at all cost. They know that, at the end of the day, no matter how hard or long it may be, they are to hug each other before falling asleep. When criticizing each other, they both know they should do it only in private, in the most kind and open way, making sure to gather the right arguments and presenting them clearly and eloquently. And absolutely not in the moment they meet first time after a long day at work, after some stressful event or long trip, etc.

They are aware that this life is short and they don’t know how long they will stay together as only Allah, subhanAllahu wa ta’ala, knows how many days each person has on this earth. So they appreciate every moment together, making them great moments and some time later, great memories.

No one is perfect and I’m not trying to idealize myself but, ahamdulillah, I’m confident that I can make a good wife and expect the same from my future partner insha’Allah.

Photo Credit: Yahoo! News

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New Entry On Matchmaking Forum By Ahmed Alamgir

fhwsmatchmakingmessageboardlogoSubject: looking for a second marriage for children.
Age: 40 years
Gender: male
Nationality: Indian
Are You Seeking Marriage With A Saudi, Half-Saudi or Non-Saudi: Saudi or half-Saudi preference orphan, divorced or separated
Message: I AM INDIAN MAN WORKING IN SAUDI ARABIA. I AM LOOKING FOR A SECOND MARRIAGE FOR CHILDREN…

You can view the rest of this message on the Matchmaking Forum. Email me for the password if you do not already have it.

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Three New Entries Added To The FHWS Matchmaking Forum

fhwsmatchmakingmessageboardlogoAuthor: “AT”
Subject: Parents seeking alliance for daughter
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Message: We are Muslim Pakistani parents seeking an alliance for our daughter whose profile details are below. Height: 5’3 Age: 30 Education: — MBA — BSc Computer Science — American International School Country living in: Saudi Arabia Marital status: Single, never married…
Location of post: http://pub1.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=44524014&frmid=9875&msgid=1079694&cmd=show

Author: “AH”
Subject: Parents seeking alliance for son
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Message: We are originally from Pakistan, but our son has been born and raised in Saudi Arabia. Our son aims to be a practicing Muslim, trying to adhere to an Islamic lifestyle according to the Shariah in all aspects. Here is what our son is looking for in terms of…
Location of post: http://pub1.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=44524014&frmid=9874&msgid=1079693&cmd=show

Author: “Ikhlaas2016”
Subject: Mature Muslimah seeking Islamic marriage to seek ONLY Allah’s pleasure
Age: 40’s
Gender: Female
Message: I am a sincere, and trustworthy practicing muslimah that is upon salafiyya looking for a sincere dedicated muslim brother upon the manhaj of salafiyya. I practise according to the teachings of the Koran and Sunnah and following the teachings of the Prophet saws-pious predecessors – to the best of my ability and capabilites…
Location of post: http://pub1.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=44524014&frmid=9876&msgid=1079703&cmd=show

To read the rest of these posts please email taraummomar @ hotmail dot com for the forum password. May Allah grant everyone success ameen.

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A Few Points To Make Regarding The Matchmaking Forum

photocreditshopifyThe matchmaking forum is the only way that I can offer assistance when it comes to the subject of searching for a spouse. It is not meant to be “active” as it is not a social media platform (if that was the case then I would have set it up on Google+ or Yahoo Groups). It is there for whoever needs it for as long as anyone contributes to it. Mostly brothers and sisters contact me in private and I can only suggest that they add their details to the forum. So the number of people posting there does not reflect who is actually interested. Understandably, it is probably because they are too private to share their details in public. But I can do nothing with private requests because I don’t want to be that closely involved in the process. The concerned parties must do the follow up queries as well as investigations as I can never vouch for anyone that I have never met nor recommend them for marriage unless I know them personally. I would suggest that when entering your particulars, you provide an email address that you do not mind putting out in the blogosphere for candidates to contact you. You can simply make one up for this purpose. If you are a sister, let your mahram or wakeel post his email address. Do NOT use your real name on the forum. Use a nickname or an alias and provide your real name in a reply to an email when you feel comfortable enough to do so. Finally, I have made the matchmaking forum as private as possible with a password and moderation of posts to ensure no players or spammers get through. However, in this day and age, do not expect much privacy on the internet. If you are that worried about privacy, it is better to conduct your matchmaking affairs in person, in the real world. Thank you and best wishes in your marriage pursuits, taraummomarsignature4

Photo Credit: Shopify

Carla Will Be The 2nd Wife; What’s The Next Step?

photocreditbellafaithdesignCarla,

Wa alaikum as-salam. I distinctly remember there is a law that a Saudi has to get permission from the first wife in order to marry again. Your Saudi might want to inquire about that as the next step.

FHWS Readers: Two new entries have been submitted to the MatchMaking forum by Syed and Hari. Contact me at emailfhws@gmail.com for the password if you would like to view the details or submit your own.

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Name: Carla

What was the marriage permission process like for you from beginning to end? Assalam alaikum! I would like to ask about the procedure of getting married to a Saudi guy. I will be the second wife. My hospital already released my NOC and I have shahada certificate already. Then we are planning to send those papers to the Chamber of Commerce. We don’t know what is the next step after.

What is your nationality: Filipino

What is the nationality of your spouse: Saudi

Interview With Coco

photocredittheoslotimesNew entry by “Arch” on the MatchMaking forum. Email me for the password.

FHWS has a new look on Twitter.

Coco, you can’t live in Saudi Arabia with your Saudi without the marriage permission. It is against the law and has been done by others with great risk. I do not think you would want to get caught by the authorities nor do I think it is worth it in the long run. See the page, Do It Right (from the beginning). Nobody can say how long the permission takes, it is done when it is done. Some people wait a short amount of time and some wait a long time. Health insurance is obtained by a spouse through the company he works for. You are free to work if your husband gives you permission. If I remember correctly, the husband must sign paperwork allowing his wife to work. I’m not sure if all employers do this. You can lose all or partial rights over your children if the judge rules in favor of custody going to your husband. In this case, it is up to the husband whether you can have visitation…or not. Otherwise, non-Saudi women with children who are divorced or widowed, can remain in Saudi Arabia. But you must have a valid iqamah. You may or may not have to get married again after the permission is approved, it depends on if the marriage certificate is accepted and authenticated. I hope I have answered all of your questions sufficiently. Feel free to ask more in the comments section. Thanks for your submission!

Details on how to submit a personal story or interview.

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Your name, nickname or anonymous: Umm Ammar

Type or copy/paste your submission here: What is your nationality? Chilean

What country do you reside in presently? Chile

Are/were you married to a Saudi or non-Saudi? I am.

If you live/lived in Saudi Arabia, for how long? Not yet.

What is your job/hobbies in your country of residence? Swimming, dancing, traveling.

When and where did you meet your Saudi/non-Saudi husband? Australia, 2011, we were both students. I had a scholarship, he was by his own doing his Master’s. His roommate was my classmate.

How long did you know your husband before the marriage took place? 5 months.

How long did your marriage permission take? We are working on it.

Did his family accept his marriage to you? Why/Why not? Yes, even though I haven’t met them personally yet (just a few brothers in-law…not my parents in-law yet), we meet on Skype dates. They are sweet and sent us lots of presents. They are wishing and praying all the time to meet us soon.

Did your family accept your marriage to him? Why/Why not? Yes, they had lots of prejudices about chauvinistic men from the Middle East but after they met him and they understood about our relationship, everything went well.

How are your relations with your family/in-laws now after marrying your husband? As I said, good. I have contact with them on Skype, my sisters in-law specially, we exchange pictures and stories but we are waiting to reunite the whole family together in KSA.

What is your advice when a non-Saudi man/woman meets their potential/future Saudi in-laws? Its hard to say from my point of view.

Do/did you like living in Saudi Arabia? Please explain why you like/liked living in Saudi Arabia and why you don’t/didn’t: I haven’t been there yet.

What would you like to see improved in Saudi Arabia? Women being able to drive.

Do you think you should change anything about yourself in order to fit into Saudi society? I think I will need to.

What do you think about the abaya and is/was it a problem for you to wear it? Not a problem with strangers but I still found it weird with family (like brothers in-law or friends of my hubby).

Do you have children? One who is almost 2 years old.

Is your Saudi/non-Saudi husband involved in raising your children? Yes, he is but it has been complicated since most of the time we are far from each other. But at least we have good communication and we keep in touch about every single important thing in our son’s life.

Does your Saudi/non-Saudi husband help you with the house chores? He does when we are together.

What do you think non-Saudis should know about Saudi men/women? You MUST be open minded. Period.

Do/did you feel trapped in Saudi Arabia or do you feel comfortable living in the country? I am comfortable but I want to experience life in KSA as soon as I can.

Would you take Saudi citizenship? Why/why not? Mhmhm, can I work If I could? Then yes.

Do you think a non-Saudi man/woman can be happy in Saudi Arabia? I wish anybody can.

For non-Saudi women: Do you think you would be willing/able to live in Saudi Arabia alone? I don’t think so.

Do you think a non-Saudi woman would have any problems living alone in Saudi Arabia without a husband or her family? For sure. I don’t think it is a place where you can find much entertainment.

What advice would you give a non-Saudi considering marriage to a Saudi? Don’t even try it if there is a slight chance that you don’t love each other or if you think your relationship is weak.

You can use this space to write anything else you would like: I just wanted to tell you about how are we waiting for the marriage permission. My Saudi and I met in AU, as I said we were both students. I had n scholarship from my country and he was on his own. We met, we became friends, I knew the whole time that there was something else between us but I fought with the feeling until my farewell. Then I left Australia and he followed me to Chile. We got married but we planned to have a long distance relationship. In the meantime, he finished his studies and I got a job. Then I found out I was pregnant with our first child. So our relationship has been always like this. Since then, he travels to Chile every 4 months. We reunited this last December in Jordan and had a holiday together, met some in-laws there. But in one of our trips last year, we went to Argentina (there wasn’t an embassy in Chile at that moment. There is one now but it is still not working) and applied for the permission. We presented the birth certificate of our son. They asked for my Muslim certificate this January and now we are currently waiting for the certificate to be signed by them. I still can’t understand the process very well because its so hard. I wanted to move to KSA to meet my in-laws, share with them Ramadan but I see it so far away. So far, we are planning to move to Jordan while papers keep going through the embassy. My story is very special I know, but I have to say, even when everything looked against us (culture, time, location, marriage, child, in-laws) and even when I heard thousands of times how I should leave my Saudi and keep my life going without him, I still don’t regret anything. I just wish someone can give me a hand or tell me how my process can go. I have many questions. Can I live in KSA without the permission? Do I have rights without the permission in KSA? Health insurance? Can I work? How long will it take? Is it true that if I go there I will loose all the rights over my little boy? Do I have to marry again when I have the permission?

List the URL address of your website/blog here: elcafedecoco.blogspot.com

Do you want to be anonymous: Yes

If you do not want to be anonymous, give your name or a nickname: Coco

Are you a non-Saudi woman married to a Saudi man: Yes

Are you submitting a personal story or an interview: Personal story

Photo Credit: The Oslo Times

Two New Entries Submitted To The MatchMaking Forum

fhwsmatchmakingmessageboardlogoMuhammad, 27 years old.

Maryam, 30 years old.

Muhammad and Maryam, thank you for your participation! May Allah make it easy for you to marry ameen.

Email me for the password to view their details and/or to submit your details.

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